From the good fellas at viva el birdos, a post spurred by the nostalgia of holiday emotions:
The central tragedy of human life, I believe, is that we only get one chance at it. We never learn anything early enough to put it to good use; life lessons always come too late to do anything but regret them.
I really like this bit. I know it's a pretty obvious concept and one that my Dad always drills into me (regarding how the grades you get are set in stone), but the way he puts it captures the sad essence of life. Another common saying is live life with no regrets, but that to me is borderline impossible. There are always going to be things in your past you could have acted/done better on, and it's important to remember and learn from these mistakes. People always learn their lesson much more effectively from trying and failing at something rather than someone warning them about it.
Edit: This makes it seem like I have a ton of regrets, and that's not what I was trying to get across. More just that we should really appreciate our chances ahead of us, because you can't go back and mulligan.
Hope everyone had a very merry christmas.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
winter...2008 pre-christmas on 3... BREAK
I realized I miss reporting on the little things in my life. So what follows is pretty much what you would read in a diary of a 9 year old OR one of those recap christmas card letters updating everyone on how the person's year went. Except only for a week of winter break.
Winter break is more than one third over and I can't really say I've accomplished a whole lot. However, chilling, relaxing, kickin it etc has been excellent.
I saw Slumdog Millionaire with Amrit, Peli, and Sean Rich. It was definitely a good movie. The more I think about it the more I like it. I kind of had massive expectations coming in, and immediately afterwards I was slightly dissapointed, but I think I would like it a lot more after seeing it again. The actress who played Latika was also perfect. Not just that she was gorgeous, but she also fit the role perfectly. Like Nick and Norah was a good movie too, but Kat Dennings did not quite fit her role perfectly. Not sure why.
I also got together with Issac and Michael and my brother to make a holiday music video for youtube. It was good to collaborate with Mr. Pao's harmonizing/accompanying skills again, and somewhat gratifying to finally be able to incorporate my brother. As for Mwen... we had some valiant attempts... (our desperate cry for a singer is growing louder. Please, someone out there, save us. you will gain immortal youtube fame. except not.)
I got to catch up with some publications related buds and church related friends as well. This may not be manly or whatever, but I really enjoyed just chatting and catching up on each other's lives, as well as the inevitable strolls down memory lane. Catching up with people and commencing in these activities is probably the highlight of my break.
UCI basketball continues its losing ways. I miss Patrick Sanders. And even though he's not doing enough this year, I will miss Kevin Bland as well. Can someone put a picture of Zach Atkinson next to the definition of 'bust' in the dictionary? At least there's Eric Wise, Recognize...
Christmas shopping has been sparse so far and uncomplete, but I am glad I spotted that Elton John deluxe DVD. Who would have thought they still carried those eh?
Ranger is still difficult. He still kind of bites at people, which is always encouraged by my sister's delighted laughter because he protects her. This is not a good development in my opinion.
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum What's wrong with me? I am ridiculously addicted to "Disturbia" and "Hot N' Cold". I realize this is highly embarassing but those songs are just too catchy.
I am a strong supporter of the notion that you always kind of like someone (or wouldn't mind getting in a relationship with someone). But I haven't felt this love interest lacking since AP Chem took over my life. Actually I have to take that back. I haven't felt this far away from getting into a relationship since I just got to San Diego in 8th grade. This may seem kind of sad, and I'm sure I would have felt that way a couple years ago. But now I'm doing fine with those circumstances.
On a more legit musical note (get it? har har), I'm really liking Muse and Keane right now. To the members of those bands: please let me join you guys. Or at least get the cool British accent. Also liking Kansas. I think I have to admit a full on weird affliction towards cheesy 70's rock and roll. Chicago, Styx, and now Kansas... I should move back to rural Tennessee.
I really want to have my own sports column next year. What do y'all think about writing like this for it?
Winter break is more than one third over and I can't really say I've accomplished a whole lot. However, chilling, relaxing, kickin it etc has been excellent.
I saw Slumdog Millionaire with Amrit, Peli, and Sean Rich. It was definitely a good movie. The more I think about it the more I like it. I kind of had massive expectations coming in, and immediately afterwards I was slightly dissapointed, but I think I would like it a lot more after seeing it again. The actress who played Latika was also perfect. Not just that she was gorgeous, but she also fit the role perfectly. Like Nick and Norah was a good movie too, but Kat Dennings did not quite fit her role perfectly. Not sure why.
I also got together with Issac and Michael and my brother to make a holiday music video for youtube. It was good to collaborate with Mr. Pao's harmonizing/accompanying skills again, and somewhat gratifying to finally be able to incorporate my brother. As for Mwen... we had some valiant attempts... (our desperate cry for a singer is growing louder. Please, someone out there, save us. you will gain immortal youtube fame. except not.)
I got to catch up with some publications related buds and church related friends as well. This may not be manly or whatever, but I really enjoyed just chatting and catching up on each other's lives, as well as the inevitable strolls down memory lane. Catching up with people and commencing in these activities is probably the highlight of my break.
UCI basketball continues its losing ways. I miss Patrick Sanders. And even though he's not doing enough this year, I will miss Kevin Bland as well. Can someone put a picture of Zach Atkinson next to the definition of 'bust' in the dictionary? At least there's Eric Wise, Recognize...
Christmas shopping has been sparse so far and uncomplete, but I am glad I spotted that Elton John deluxe DVD. Who would have thought they still carried those eh?
Ranger is still difficult. He still kind of bites at people, which is always encouraged by my sister's delighted laughter because he protects her. This is not a good development in my opinion.
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum What's wrong with me? I am ridiculously addicted to "Disturbia" and "Hot N' Cold". I realize this is highly embarassing but those songs are just too catchy.
I am a strong supporter of the notion that you always kind of like someone (or wouldn't mind getting in a relationship with someone). But I haven't felt this love interest lacking since AP Chem took over my life. Actually I have to take that back. I haven't felt this far away from getting into a relationship since I just got to San Diego in 8th grade. This may seem kind of sad, and I'm sure I would have felt that way a couple years ago. But now I'm doing fine with those circumstances.
On a more legit musical note (get it? har har), I'm really liking Muse and Keane right now. To the members of those bands: please let me join you guys. Or at least get the cool British accent. Also liking Kansas. I think I have to admit a full on weird affliction towards cheesy 70's rock and roll. Chicago, Styx, and now Kansas... I should move back to rural Tennessee.
I really want to have my own sports column next year. What do y'all think about writing like this for it?
Sunday, December 14, 2008
pulling the string
As soon as December hit, I have been wishing for finals to be over. Now that they are, I look back and can't even remember how December has gotten this far. How is it already half over?!
I think Dave Gibbons was dead on when he said that too often in life we get from point A to point B and have no recollection of how we got there.
All I remember is a gradually expanding stress, until at the end I was just sitting in my room the whole day (or at the library). Plus Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and Shawshank Redemption.
I hope this blog helps me remember my days better. What's the point of even going through all those trials and tribulations/joys and triumphs, if you can't remember them afterward.
I think Dave Gibbons was dead on when he said that too often in life we get from point A to point B and have no recollection of how we got there.
All I remember is a gradually expanding stress, until at the end I was just sitting in my room the whole day (or at the library). Plus Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and Shawshank Redemption.
I hope this blog helps me remember my days better. What's the point of even going through all those trials and tribulations/joys and triumphs, if you can't remember them afterward.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Forward Motion
First off, there's nothing quite like being home for the holidays. I realize that sounds like a cross between an airline commercial tagline and a slightly obscure christmas song, but I couldn't help but grin coming back home for winter break, knowing that the next 3 weeks or so were going to be pretty nice. I also realized how blessed I am to be able to drive the short one hour from Irvine to San Diego with music blasting and a good friend to be singing with. A Christmas-decorated house and loving family to return to.
That being said, finals were miserable. I mean they are never fantastic but this year it was even worse because I was in a lame duck situation with classes I wasn't continuing in next quarter.
But now that they're over... I feel incredibly refreshed.
It's like the old chapter in my life is closed, and I'm really excited to have this new direction in life. I am not dreading my upcoming classes for once, and at least right now, I'm extremely excited about the things I'm pursuing.
Of course, every new quarter, I always tell myself that this one's going to be different. I am going to improve. Boost that GPA, fill out that frame, etc etc. But there was no substance behind the initiative. I would really want to change, but I would have no concrete methods to carry this change out. Instead, it would be this vague general pressure I put on myself to improve. It would last 3, 4 weeks, to the first round of midterms max. Then it would fade again, and it became this vicious cycle.
Coming out of a tough end of summer, this fall quarter was one of those quarters mentioned above. Instead, I ended up lamenting "this quarter sucks!" a lot.
I'm not saying it was a complete failure. I did start several things that I wanted to do. However, this winter quarter is when I feel more equipped than ever to overcome this vicious cycle. Not only do I plan on carrying out a couple methods physically (opposed to just mentally here and there), the entire aura of my classes have changed. This winter quarter is when I finally stop wavering on life in general, and beat my indecision. This is the quarter that I quit being afraid to follow my passions.
Forward motion, it's harder than it seems. May this post serve as a reminder to myself of a permanent energy and motivation, dedication and determination.
That being said, finals were miserable. I mean they are never fantastic but this year it was even worse because I was in a lame duck situation with classes I wasn't continuing in next quarter.
But now that they're over... I feel incredibly refreshed.
It's like the old chapter in my life is closed, and I'm really excited to have this new direction in life. I am not dreading my upcoming classes for once, and at least right now, I'm extremely excited about the things I'm pursuing.
Of course, every new quarter, I always tell myself that this one's going to be different. I am going to improve. Boost that GPA, fill out that frame, etc etc. But there was no substance behind the initiative. I would really want to change, but I would have no concrete methods to carry this change out. Instead, it would be this vague general pressure I put on myself to improve. It would last 3, 4 weeks, to the first round of midterms max. Then it would fade again, and it became this vicious cycle.
Coming out of a tough end of summer, this fall quarter was one of those quarters mentioned above. Instead, I ended up lamenting "this quarter sucks!" a lot.
I'm not saying it was a complete failure. I did start several things that I wanted to do. However, this winter quarter is when I feel more equipped than ever to overcome this vicious cycle. Not only do I plan on carrying out a couple methods physically (opposed to just mentally here and there), the entire aura of my classes have changed. This winter quarter is when I finally stop wavering on life in general, and beat my indecision. This is the quarter that I quit being afraid to follow my passions.
Forward motion, it's harder than it seems. May this post serve as a reminder to myself of a permanent energy and motivation, dedication and determination.
Friday, December 5, 2008
blackberries
I had a thing of blackberries for dessert today. After eating a couple, I decided to sprinkle some sugar on top. Still slightly wet from my dousing of water to clean off any unwanted pesticides, the hefty dose of sugar I liberally dumped melted beautifully together with the plump berries. I slowly lifted the main berry of choice above my mouth, positioning it in such a way that all of the sugar would hit my tongue first, so that the instantaneous burst of sweetness would be at its maximum.
It was salt.
Sputtering to the sink, I tried to spit out the overpowering...saltiness as fast as I could. Still, the berries were quite sweet enough without any added sugar afterwards.
Funny how that works out.
It was salt.
Sputtering to the sink, I tried to spit out the overpowering...saltiness as fast as I could. Still, the berries were quite sweet enough without any added sugar afterwards.
Funny how that works out.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
the good and the bad: expectations (vol I)
-When you have a coupon or find a deal at a store, and upon getting to the cashier, they tell you the coupon is actually good for the deluxe package, not just the basic package, or that the price is an additional 30% off the listed price, which is already on sale. So instead of getting it for 10 dollars when it is normally 25, you now get it for 7 dollars.
-When you ask for oreo cookies-n-cream topping on ice cream, and it consists only of the black cookie, and none of the white icing. So dissapointing. Kind of like going to a baseball stadium and just touring it without an actual game going on. You want to be happy because its something you love, but it's missing the key component, so all the enjoyment is just ruined.
-When you ask for oreo cookies-n-cream topping on ice cream, and it consists only of the black cookie, and none of the white icing. So dissapointing. Kind of like going to a baseball stadium and just touring it without an actual game going on. You want to be happy because its something you love, but it's missing the key component, so all the enjoyment is just ruined.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
a weird feeling, this feeling
When I was in 2nd grade, I had to play a Mozart Sonatina for the school talent show. The lights dimmed and the spotlight was literally on me. I, like most little kids (only for me it basically carried on through my entire recital career), tensed up and started way too fast. A couple of measures in, I accidentally switched the song. The transition was similar to another song I was just starting, and all of a sudden, I was playing this other piece with no sheet music in front of me. Right about now I was scared out of my mind, and basically watching my fingers play while my mind went numb. It got sloppier and sloppier as I did not know the piece very well. Finally I came to an egregious, horribly contrived stop, pretended like it was suppose to happen like that, and then switched back to the second segment of the intended sonatina.
By this time my nerves were shot and poor 7 year old David was sweating like he had never sweated before. I finished crappily and grimaced to an end.
People clapped. The next act was announced. No one except the music teacher probably knew what had just happened.
A kid came up to me afterwards and asked if I had just been playing random notes really fast or if that was actually a song.
"Duh it was a song."
The funny thing is he wasn't commenting on how bad I had butchered the song. He really just didn't know the difference between classical music and random fast notes.
I told a couple of my friends how badly I did, and how bad I felt about it. They told me that it didn't really matter, no one even knows. Just pretend you did excellent and get on with life. After all, we had extra recess today and the kickball championships were beginning.
Still, I felt terrible for butchering my first Sonatina piece. Especially since this wasn't "Michael Row Your Boat Ashore" or "Grandfather's Clock" anymore. This was a legit song. And I had screwed it up royally. No one could really tell I was affected at all when I grounded out weakly 2 times before getting a gap double during kickball, and I was glad about that.
I'm fine I told myself. No one even knows except Miss Lippi. And she picks her nose. So psh, she's got nothing on me.
But deep down it still nagged me when I was sitting on the bus home.
That scenario doesn't quite explain my situation right now. Music is not a breathing being, and really it was all my fault that I didn't practice more. The music can't exactly do anything differently. I got over the recital by the end of the week. Because piano performances as a 7 year old don't even come close to making the same emotional impact a lost relationship with no firm closure does.
It's like two cars crashing headfirst repeatedly into each other, but with long intervals between, because it's a long road. One the car of care and love and wanting to keep that connection. One the car of bitter dissapointment and anger.
Let's add some lanes to this road please. I'm tired of the sporadic whiplash.
By this time my nerves were shot and poor 7 year old David was sweating like he had never sweated before. I finished crappily and grimaced to an end.
People clapped. The next act was announced. No one except the music teacher probably knew what had just happened.
A kid came up to me afterwards and asked if I had just been playing random notes really fast or if that was actually a song.
"Duh it was a song."
The funny thing is he wasn't commenting on how bad I had butchered the song. He really just didn't know the difference between classical music and random fast notes.
I told a couple of my friends how badly I did, and how bad I felt about it. They told me that it didn't really matter, no one even knows. Just pretend you did excellent and get on with life. After all, we had extra recess today and the kickball championships were beginning.
Still, I felt terrible for butchering my first Sonatina piece. Especially since this wasn't "Michael Row Your Boat Ashore" or "Grandfather's Clock" anymore. This was a legit song. And I had screwed it up royally. No one could really tell I was affected at all when I grounded out weakly 2 times before getting a gap double during kickball, and I was glad about that.
I'm fine I told myself. No one even knows except Miss Lippi. And she picks her nose. So psh, she's got nothing on me.
But deep down it still nagged me when I was sitting on the bus home.
That scenario doesn't quite explain my situation right now. Music is not a breathing being, and really it was all my fault that I didn't practice more. The music can't exactly do anything differently. I got over the recital by the end of the week. Because piano performances as a 7 year old don't even come close to making the same emotional impact a lost relationship with no firm closure does.
It's like two cars crashing headfirst repeatedly into each other, but with long intervals between, because it's a long road. One the car of care and love and wanting to keep that connection. One the car of bitter dissapointment and anger.
Let's add some lanes to this road please. I'm tired of the sporadic whiplash.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
thanks for reading
My schedule next quarter has absolutely zero science classes.
It's a scary change. I can't say that I don't have my doubts still.
But I'm excited to hopefully have this new direction in life to pursue.
Re-energized would be the word.
Crossroads would be the picture representation.
Time to go all-out.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
We are all blessed in so many ways. It's good to step back and appreciate these things/people.
Rick Astley singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" was the first float/singer that came on when I turned on the parade.
Thanks Rick, made my day.
EDIT: I missed this at the time because I just turned on the TV and thus thought it was a legit Astley performance, but it was actually a 'rickroll' that he just played along with. Woops.
It's a scary change. I can't say that I don't have my doubts still.
But I'm excited to hopefully have this new direction in life to pursue.
Re-energized would be the word.
Crossroads would be the picture representation.
Time to go all-out.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
We are all blessed in so many ways. It's good to step back and appreciate these things/people.
Rick Astley singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" was the first float/singer that came on when I turned on the parade.
Thanks Rick, made my day.
EDIT: I missed this at the time because I just turned on the TV and thus thought it was a legit Astley performance, but it was actually a 'rickroll' that he just played along with. Woops.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
prelude
Welcome to my new beginning.
It is getting late, so I will keep it short.
A real intro and explanations will be up soon.
For now... here are some blogs and writers I respect/read/wish I could be like (in no particular order)
It is getting late, so I will keep it short.
A real intro and explanations will be up soon.
For now... here are some blogs and writers I respect/read/wish I could be like (in no particular order)
- Bill Simmons
- Rick Reilly
- Jason Whitlock
- Matt Thiessen's Pack of Wild Blogs
- Bryce Courtenay
- Victor Villasenor
- J.D. Sallinger
- J.K. Rowling
- Bernie Miklasz
- Mildred D. Taylor
- Mark Twain
- C.S. Lewis
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