Forward Motion

First off, there's nothing quite like being home for the holidays. I realize that sounds like a cross between an airline commercial tagline and a slightly obscure christmas song, but I couldn't help but grin coming back home for winter break, knowing that the next 3 weeks or so were going to be pretty nice. I also realized how blessed I am to be able to drive the short one hour from Irvine to San Diego with music blasting and a good friend to be singing with. A Christmas-decorated house and loving family to return to.

That being said, finals were miserable. I mean they are never fantastic but this year it was even worse because I was in a lame duck situation with classes I wasn't continuing in next quarter.
But now that they're over... I feel incredibly refreshed.
It's like the old chapter in my life is closed, and I'm really excited to have this new direction in life. I am not dreading my upcoming classes for once, and at least right now, I'm extremely excited about the things I'm pursuing.

Of course, every new quarter, I always tell myself that this one's going to be different. I am going to improve. Boost that GPA, fill out that frame, etc etc. But there was no substance behind the initiative. I would really want to change, but I would have no concrete methods to carry this change out. Instead, it would be this vague general pressure I put on myself to improve. It would last 3, 4 weeks, to the first round of midterms max. Then it would fade again, and it became this vicious cycle.
Coming out of a tough end of summer, this fall quarter was one of those quarters mentioned above. Instead, I ended up lamenting "this quarter sucks!" a lot.
I'm not saying it was a complete failure. I did start several things that I wanted to do. However, this winter quarter is when I feel more equipped than ever to overcome this vicious cycle. Not only do I plan on carrying out a couple methods physically (opposed to just mentally here and there), the entire aura of my classes have changed. This winter quarter is when I finally stop wavering on life in general, and beat my indecision. This is the quarter that I quit being afraid to follow my passions.

Forward motion, it's harder than it seems. May this post serve as a reminder to myself of a permanent energy and motivation, dedication and determination.