Optimism

Note: what follows is the typical "i'm about to graduate and my future is so uncertain" post. Bear with me.

Coming into freshman year, I remember being on the pessimistic side about things. I don't even really remember why, but I do distinctly contrasting with Yeebs, who was a lot more optimistic all the time. Maybe it was because I was still not very excited about being at UCI, maybe because parental pressures had turned college into a time of pressure and worry... but they were some not so good times.

Now, I feel like I am generally regarded as the optimistic one. This is partially because my workplace almost requires it, for the sake of not being depressed and down all the time, but it also goes beyond that. This past Friday at Re:Act, Luke from YWAM Kona was kind enough to pray for me, and offered an interesting image - that of a bucking bronco. He said that many people don't see the hard work that I put into [fill in the blank], but that God sees it, and affirms that. He said that I had a higher threshold to stay on the bronco. Crazy stuff!

I used to dread graduating and the (at least) year of uncertainty that was to follow, but I tend now to think about it as an exciting exploration of opportunity. Life is at as big of a crossroads as it ever has been before, but there's something thrilling about that. Don't get me wrong... the disappointing rejections and (even worse) no-replies are sure to keep coming, but at the same time, I have this sense of trust that God will eventually lead me to where I'm supposed to be. And with that in mind, how can you not be optimistic. (insert brubaker voice: C'MON!)

So even with parental pressures picking back up, striking at my self-confidence and overall sense of worth, I will keep up an optimistic mindset. Not that I'm endorsing ignorance and obliviousness to what is out there, but everything will indeed be okay in the end.

anti-social

For a variety of reasons, I feel like I have been increasingly anti-social last quarter. It takes effort to initiate lunches and catch-ups, or even just small talk banter after certain events, and I think my overall busy schedule and subsequent tired nature has taken away from that.

But upon celebrating my 22nd (ew) birthday, I realized that this is the last quarter that everyone from UCI will all be around, and that made me pretty sad.

Here's to putting in quality time with good friends. Ptl.

Bwam Recap

In short, BWAM was amazing. And I know people always say that, but I feel like Boise and Create Common Good was truly a one of a kind BWAM experience. Things are detailed much fuller in our lovely team blog, but here is a quick personal recap.

Vision
- it was inspiring to see the leadership, passion, and ultimate vision that the team leaders of Create Common Good had. It inspired me to have a better vision of my own life and future endeavors. Once that is established, it's only a matter of hard work achieving the desired results.

Hand-Selected
- it was thrilling to be able to apply creativity and our personal skills to the projects that we were assigned to do throughout the week. Not only were we able to leave a tangible mark on the organization, but we all felt like God had put us on team Boise for a reason.

Fresh Air
- even though we didn't do it for long periods of time or anything, working on the farm, shoveling and wheelbarrowing, was a refreshing time. Something about being in the brisk air and doing some good old fashioned manual labor was just so much more appealing than say, cleaning out an attic.

Eye-Opening
- it was really cool to get to know the refugees there, and just talk to them and get to know their stories. In SoCal, most people have similar stories and lives. These refugees have had incredibly hard lives, and yet they still managed a sheepish grin and joyful spirit.

Go Team
- once again blessed with an awesome team that made a 15 hour drive not so bad at all. Just going through this experience with them was a huge blessing - icing on the cake. Even with the totes pops abbrevs.