somewhere between

Growing up can be boiled down to a gradual whittling away of what society deems acceptable for one's life accomplishments and general abilities.

It's okay he can't form sentences, he's only one years old!

It's okay he isn't potty trained, he's only two years old!

It's okay he can't read, he's only three years old!

The excuses of youth continue for a surprisingly long time. Even into your twenties, people have somewhat low expectations of recent college graduates. Even after law school, people have low expectations for those who are just starting out in their careers. 

The built-in excuses and low expectations sunset somewhere around age 30 though. At that point, you aren't expected to be at the height of your career, but you're expected to at least have a career. Maybe you don't own your own property, but people generally start expecting you to not live at home with the parents anymore.  

Heading into my age 30 year, it's something I've been thinking about. We're not old, but we're not in our youth either. We're somewhere in-between, and life starts coming at you real fast.

I'm not all that sure that this prelude is a fitting intro for my annual year-end recap (which is what this started out as). More than anything it comes across as general melancholy, which is not an apt encapsulation of my 2018, so I'll stop here for now. 

2017: The Year That Was

In a marked departure from the past few whirlwind years, 2017 was not filled with a slew of firsts and life milestones. Instead, it was a year of second-time-throughs and building upon past experience.

On one hand, it's reassuring to not feel like a complete rookie. On the other, it's easy to fall into bad habits and days that thoughtlessly bleed into each other.

Anyway, as this post is woefully delinquent, I'll cut to the chase. Some proverbial highlights from the past year:

1. A Place To Call Our Own. It feels good to build toward something long term, rather than making a monthly expense payment. We are very lucky and grateful to live where we live.

2. Travel Bug Stayed Strong. Oakland (house warming in Temescal); Las Vegas (Traci watching the Backstreet Boys); Anaheim (BWT Finals, where UCI lost for the third time in four trips since 2008); Phoenix (Spring Training 2017, Dodgers autograph success!); Crater Lake and Bend, OR (where our car was sideswiped overnight); Temecula (friendly wine servers winning over certain members of our party); San Francisco (Edge/softball wedding); Seattle and Whidbey Island (law school wedding); Ensenada (birthday celebration); Joshua Tree (Mom's birthday); Santa Barbara (quality wine); and Sonoma (capstone wine tasting trip).

3. A Return To Costa Rica. This trip gets its own paragraph. Long on Traci's bucket list, I was really excited to go back to one of my favorite countries. The trip itself was awesome, but the journey back, not so much. We'll always have being stranded for 23 hours at a closed down Houston Hobby Airport in the middle of Hurricane Harvey as a memento of our second year of marriage.

[January 2019 EDIT: BLOGGER FAIL]... Just noticed this never got officially published. Half-written draft just hung around in the unpublished posts section for an entire year. Oh well, on to the next...

2016: The Year That Was

Well, it finally happened. Proverbial Putts went an entire year with just one sole post.

I suppose as one gets older, less and less time is spent selfishly pontificating about your own life and emotions. Having a job that requires sitting in front of a computer all day, reading and writing, also doesn't inspire much desire to come home and do more of the same.

I actually did reboot Zotcubed in an effort to keep my "writing for fun" juices flowing, and I thought about writing on here a couple times, but it just never happened.

Old habits die hard though; I'm not quite ready to retire my annual year-end reflection post. So let's see...

2016 was the first full "join the work force and be a real adult" year of my life. It was also a year that challenged me in new ways, shaking my confidence tremendously at times. I feel somewhat accomplished for having successfully reached the other side, but I'm more excited to build off this past year with a better one in 2017.

2016 was a year of cramming travel into long-weekends. Due to losing my student-life freedoms, we substituted my international trips for short weekend getaways. Las Vegas, Denver, Austin, San Francisco, Lake Cuyamaca, Napa, Orange County and Los Angeles, all fun times in their own right. We capped it all off with our quasi-one year anniversary trip to Hawaii (Kauai and Oahu) over Thanksgiving, a vacation I was especially thankful for.

2016 was another big year of weddings. I was lucky enough to serve as a groomsman for Fooks and toast Yibs as one of his best men. We had another joyous Ambalamps reunion for Ambrose, and a Glory reunion in SF for Vince. All friendships and celebrations I cherish.

2016 also saw the addition of a new family member. Pippin the dog (after Peregrin Took) overcame her bout with a canine version of lyme's disease, not to mention whatever other hardships she experienced on the streets of Mexico, and spent many-a-night happily thumping her tail under our bed. Although she still has some peculiar behavioral issues that we're working on, she went from zero tricks to three and a half in the course of four-ish months. So there's hope yet, even if she manages to get by on her cuteness regardless.

And finally, 2016 was a year for exposing the many ways that I can improve as a husband. There seem to be so few precious hours in a day that we're not occupied with work and other obligations -- hopefully 2017 will be a year of maximizing the hours we do have to make strides onward and upward.

2015: The Year That Was

2015 was an eventful year. So eventful, in fact, that it may never be topped. There were many great things, some not so great things, and some other general milestones that will go down in the history books. This blog is getting old, and desperately needs some fresh air, so instead of rolling out one of my typical TLDR year-end recaps, I'll try to summarize things into a few main points.

1. Wedding/Married Life

It's still surreal to say "my wife" or see the name "Traci Gao" on paper, perhaps because the entire turnaround between proposal and marriage happened within the year. Regardless, the wedding was just about everything we could have hoped for, and those moments were some of the happiest of my lifetime. It's something special to have all of your closest people in the world, all in one space, and all present for your sake. It was like if someone combined all of your birthday parties throughout your life and hosted one giant party with all of those people, only on top of that you got to celebrate being with your for-real-best-friend-for-life on top of that.

Married life is a lot of fun because it means never having to say good bye for long. That being said, I'm quickly realizing that being a good husband requires additional effort and thoughtfulness, and I hope to improve in certain areas of my new role in life moving forward.

2. Wanderlust

In terms of travel, I would be astounded if 2015 was ever topped. I was lucky enough to go to China, the DRC, Burundi, the Netherlands, Fiji, and New Zealand. In each country, my worldview was broadened, and perspective on life widened. And by that, I don't mean boasting about how "worldly" I now am, but instead realizing how narrow my worldview was before, and trying to quench my thirst for learning more outside the limited scope of our daily lives. The same applies in the U.S as well, on a smaller scale. Shout out to weekend trips to SF, New Orleans, Las Vegas, and Portland!

There's not much I'd rather do in the world than travel with good friends and loved ones. Thank you to those who made my 2015 travels full of laughs, interesting conversation, and all-around good times. I can't wait to explore again when the opportunity presents itself.

3. Law Stuff

2015 marked my graduation from law school, which was cool. It also marked less savory experiences, such as studying for and taking the bar.

I suppose life is a sequence of events where you over-stress and make a bigger deal of each hurdle you have immediately ahead of you, only to look back and realize that the hurdle wasn't really such a big deal after all. Too bad you can't realize that the hurdle isn't so bad until you have the wisdom in retrospect!

4. Back Home in Sunny San Diego

After four years in Irvine, a transition year, and three more in Los Angeles, it's nice to be back in San Diego for the long haul. I do miss all of my friends now scattered up the coast and in other parts of the country, but all things considered, living in the downtown area of San Diego isn't too shabby.

Looking forward to diving into home improvement, exploring the city, and hosting more friend visits in 2016.

All the Groom's Men

In one week's time, I will be one day into the married life. I've struggled with capturing the emotions that come along with such a statement, so a post on that will have to wait.

One week ago, however, I got to spend an excellent weekend with my nine groomsmen up in Big Bear Lake, and I thought I'd write a bit about that for now.

The most common response I've received from people is something about the number of groomsmen I have enlisted. "Nine!? Geez! Why so many!" 

It's a question I had to consider when Traci told me that she would only have five bridesmaids. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there was no one I could cut!

All nine of these guys have affected some facet of my life in a big way, and it was important to me that all nine of these guys were up there by my side on the wedding day. From my childhood in St. Louis, to my high school days in San Diego, to college life in Irvine, to post-college life in Los Angeles, each stage was represented. These guys are the friends and brother that I leaned on through the hard times, who I could count on for a hearty laugh and a fun time, who I could be open and honest with.

II have been extremely blessed to have each and every one of these guys in my life, and I am so glad that each one of them can be part of my wedding festivities. Without them, my life would have been drastically altered for the worse.

Thanks guys for the awesome weekend. There was epic ping pong tournaments, challenging water sports, vintage MLB Showdown duals, fellowship over home cooked meals and even some good old 5-on-5 basketball. It was everything I could have hoped for from a bachelor's weekend, and I can only hope that there will be many more similar festivities in the future.

UCLA Law Class of 2015, you guys were alright

I graduated from law school this past Friday and it's a surreal feeling. It sounds cliche, but I could not have done it without the consistent support from my friends and family. So grateful for all of the blessings that I have been given over the last three years, and very thankful that I had the opportunity to pursue this additional education in the first place.

In some ways, I feel the same as when I started law school. But then I also look back at everything we've done in a relatively short amount of time, and I kind of marvel at how far we've come. I know that aside from resume accomplishments and more ordinary "law knowledge," I've also gained perspective on the way our country and the world works. I feel like I can now more confidently see all sides of a contentious/political argument, and speak on the matter if need be.

And now, time for some bar studying! Woohoo!

done with law school classes

“Lawyers are alright, I guess — but it doesn't appeal to me", I said. "I mean they're alright if they go around saving innocent guys' lives all the time, and like that, but you don't do that kind of stuff if you're a lawyer. All you do is make a lot of dough and play golf and play bridge and buy cars and drink Martinis and look like a hot-shot. And besides, even if you did go around saving guys' lives and all, how would you know if you did it because you really wanted to save guys' lives, or because you did it because what you really wanted to do was be a terrific lawyer, with everybody slapping you on the back and congratulating you in court when the goddam trial was over, the reporters and everybody, the way it is in the dirty movies? How would you know you weren't being a phony? The trouble is you wouldn't.” 

― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye