Confidence

As usual, time seems to be flying by. Somehow, I'm already going on four weeks at my new summer externship. In a little more than a month, I'll be packing up once again and heading back up to LA. I'll be starting my first round of interviews for jobs that hopefully turn into my full-time permanent position after graduation, which is an altogether terrifying topic for another day.

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On Confidence...

As a former sports writer, I would unflinchingly call out the players I thought needed more confidence, noting how they wilted in big situations or after faltering early in the game. In a game recap it was easy to describe confidence as some sort of easily quantifiable thing. 

Now, as I am thrown into frequent new and uncomfortable situations, I find my own confidence being tested all the time. As an extern in the same office with externs from other law schools, I wondered if my research and writing skills are up to snuff. As a free agent softball player, I doubted my ability to play shortstop after making an error in the first game. As an older brother near his siblings once again, I questioned if I was being a good example/role model for them. Clearly, it's much easier to call out the lack of confidence in another than to evict recurring self-doubt from yourself.

My usual eventual response is to reassure myself, a la Julie Andrews having confidence in confidence alone, because it seems like the only option. Instead, looking back I realize I should be having confidence due to God's all-knowing provision and abundance. By myself, I do fall short of just about everything. But with faith and trust in Him, I have the "confidence" needed to fulfill whatever plan God has in-store for me.