Week 7: Lost in Translation

Despite my subtle boasting about my improving Chinese conversational skills last week, this week brought that all crashing back down to earth. The scene of the crime? Mickey D’s.

To preface the situation, earlier this week when my co-worker took me to Starbucks (a luxury destination in China), I ordered the drink name in English, and not only did the barista understand, but she called out the drink in English to her fellow workers. Thus, at Mickey D’s, I figured that I could do something similar since the English names are also written on each packaged item. Usually, I get around ordering directly by saying "What kind of chicken dishes do you guys have?" or “Can you recommend a good soup?” and then just repeating something that sounded good. Very rarely have I been in a situation like Mickey D’s, where a menu (although without numbered value meal choices) is simply before you, visible all at once.

(regular font is translated from Chinese. Italicized font is spoken English)

Mickey D’s Cashier: Hi.
Me: Hi, can I get a Oreo McFlurry?
MDC: (puzzled frown on his face) What?
Me: Uhh, that ice cream?
(pudgy middle school kid next to me turns around, wondering who this idiot is)
MDC: … which kind of ice cream?
Me: (starting to panic, I point in the general direction of the Mcflurry on the menu. I desperately try to read the Chinese letters again, even though I know I can't. I only recognize the last word - wind - and so mutter something to myself instead)
MDC: Oh, the (somethingsomething wind)? Which flavor. We have strawberry and oreo (pronounced ah-ree-ah).
Me: Right, the… ah-ree-ah.

Nothing like McDonald’s to humble the spirits.

***

For the most part, it seems like the general American to Chinese translation is better than it was in 2004 when I first came to China. Grammatical signs aren’t so egregious, and misspellings are forgivable. One thing that I still get a kick out of though, are the weird English words that people print on shirts. Many times it will be just complete randomness like “Machine IPSQ X PP.” Other times it’s some poetic phrase that’s just a bit off, like “Live to Laughs… Love in the Quiet… Flow like a River.” My top three favorites so far though:

3. A balding 50-60 year old guy wearing an oversized fake ECKO shirt
2. A peppy 20-something year old girl wearing a shirt that just says “STOIC” in huge block letters
1. A stocky 8-9 year old boy wearing a shirt that says “Goddess” in a bland font

One more thing. Angry Birds is all the rage right now in China, and I’m not talking about people playing the game. Little kids love Angry Bird T-Shirts like fat kids love candy. I’ve also seen hats, watches, and even entire outfits that come together… I’ve even seen a Chinese style Angry Birds fan. It’s much more common than Mickey Mouse or really any other cartoon figure that kids should like. It’s a decent game for your phone, but the birds are not that cute. They don’t have much personality. There is basically zero storyline besides what is implied with their name. There are no jokes, heartfelt moments, epic scenes, hero figures, nothing. It’s just a simple slingshot game where you try to knock things down! Simply baffling.